I'm starting to think I would have been a lobotomy candidate. I can't really name my real damage these days, but my core is cooling off, and then it gets heavier, and as a result, I move slower. That makes so much sense that it doesn't actually make sense. Hello, you've entered, the Twilight Zone.
Did you see the Saddam Hussein hanging video? The question is, do the Iraqi courts now become fully valid? Are the iraqi people going to tolerate our need to impose our ideas into the next decade? So that we don't give off the notion that we failed, and give the insurgeny a free hive. Last time I checked, Middle easterners' problem with the west is our tendency to poke our nose anywhere there are dollars to be made.
Is it possible that the conservative agenda runs so much better when conflict is in progress that we might actually seek unnecessary conflicts when conservatives have control? Apparently so. I assume that its a fact that when things get to a critical point, the U.S. will always have the resources to respond with our billion megatons of WMD's to thwart any type of "islamo-nazi" uprising that we're so programmed to belive is inevitable. I thing that its time that we don't give them anything to be pissed about. Then, if intelligence is gathered that persons are clearly carrying out some shenanigans, well, then clearly, we do something serious about it. Otherwise, war is embarrassingly primitave.
Heeeeey. Lets hit the last couple of days' highlights, shall we? Rock 'n Roll Karaoke Thursday, Fun times in Bucktown on Friday (not cool, i know) and so much "nothing" on today that I've almost floated away from such a load anti-stress. But its great, because the bulk load of brain power used for standard work production (about 56% of my available processor) gets to be applied liberally to other areas like music, take out food, and lonliness. Yes folks, its my little time indulge in my over stock on raw emotion, sitting in the warehouse in my chest for many weeks.
Anway, yeah, its nice to have time to play with my toys for a bit. The best videogame ever made is tecmo superbowl for NES. I'm sure of it now.
Is it really Dec. 31st, 2006? As in, it will be 2007 in 18 hours?
That's pretty strange.
I'm hallucinating little people's shadows again, meaning its urgent that I actually go to bed now.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
wowie wednesday
Seach "Hiroshima Atomic Bomb CGI Re-enactment" on you Tube. Difficult, but necessary to watch.
Cat Power fans, on you tube, search:
"talking with Cat Power
"Cat Power - All Of The Night" (Chan doin karaoke)
"Flaming Lips & Cat Power - War Pigs
Today, more of nothing. Recooperating from last night. I proceeded to drink in excess following the my solo set yesterday, perceiving that it was horrible. I heard some of it today (a video will be on the web soon) and it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd thought, I'd give it a "B".
I was singing in bathroom at The Note a couple hours and many drinks after my set when some guy appearing to be in a gang approached me at the sink and gave me a flyer for a hip hop party, and then handed me two blotters of lsd. I didn't want to refuse them, fearing that he might become offended (I tend to run into these types in Pat's presense). So I accepted the LSD, which he'd indicated (and proved with his pupils) that he was on himself, and then asked for $5 for the stuff, clearly not realizing he'd just declared they were free. I gave him the money to facilitate a quicker end our interaction and left the bathroom. He was fairly nice, but I just don't trust a damn soul anymore. Uh, now I own two hits of LSD. Any suggestions?
Utter sobriety sounds appealing today. These "dead" days are starting to add up. And I don't exactly feel healthy. Who's up for moving to a small town on the east coast with me, and living out a life devoid of bars and smoke. Bizarre concept, I know. But I'm simply not inspired lately, and sure, its a combination of my brain, the weather, my lifestyle, lonliness, etc..., but hell, somethings gotta give. Am I coping with having its to good? Not taking enough risks? Should I seek Jeebus?
I sorted out my picture files on my computer today. whoa, hot fun. The MySpace is now updated. Oh, but I forgot to add the Scott art, I'll have to do that too.
According to a note that the city of Chicago left on my door today, I'll have no water from 8am to 3:30pm.
So, ideally, I would get up for work in about four hours and do an early day. Yeah, I'll do my best.
Goblin doesn't like her diet iams.
What to do for New Years? Party here? ...or hang out in Iowa? I'm going to set up a NYE party exploratory committee tomorrow.
wheeeeee
Cat Power fans, on you tube, search:
"talking with Cat Power
"Cat Power - All Of The Night" (Chan doin karaoke)
"Flaming Lips & Cat Power - War Pigs
Today, more of nothing. Recooperating from last night. I proceeded to drink in excess following the my solo set yesterday, perceiving that it was horrible. I heard some of it today (a video will be on the web soon) and it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd thought, I'd give it a "B".
I was singing in bathroom at The Note a couple hours and many drinks after my set when some guy appearing to be in a gang approached me at the sink and gave me a flyer for a hip hop party, and then handed me two blotters of lsd. I didn't want to refuse them, fearing that he might become offended (I tend to run into these types in Pat's presense). So I accepted the LSD, which he'd indicated (and proved with his pupils) that he was on himself, and then asked for $5 for the stuff, clearly not realizing he'd just declared they were free. I gave him the money to facilitate a quicker end our interaction and left the bathroom. He was fairly nice, but I just don't trust a damn soul anymore. Uh, now I own two hits of LSD. Any suggestions?
Utter sobriety sounds appealing today. These "dead" days are starting to add up. And I don't exactly feel healthy. Who's up for moving to a small town on the east coast with me, and living out a life devoid of bars and smoke. Bizarre concept, I know. But I'm simply not inspired lately, and sure, its a combination of my brain, the weather, my lifestyle, lonliness, etc..., but hell, somethings gotta give. Am I coping with having its to good? Not taking enough risks? Should I seek Jeebus?
I sorted out my picture files on my computer today. whoa, hot fun. The MySpace is now updated. Oh, but I forgot to add the Scott art, I'll have to do that too.
According to a note that the city of Chicago left on my door today, I'll have no water from 8am to 3:30pm.
So, ideally, I would get up for work in about four hours and do an early day. Yeah, I'll do my best.
Goblin doesn't like her diet iams.
What to do for New Years? Party here? ...or hang out in Iowa? I'm going to set up a NYE party exploratory committee tomorrow.
wheeeeee
Monday, December 25, 2006
Harlan Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
I just found out that my Aunt got admitted to the ER with chest pain. Based almost solely on this particular Aunt's shoulders is the future of an intact family unit (on the maternal side). I feel helpless, even though I live an hour away.
Saturday Night's "gregJIMscott and sometimes Jen band" at Stadium West was a lot of fun. The band that graciously helped fill time that we couldn't was The Christina's bartender's boyfriend's band. "Inaudible". They're fronted by Aubrey's boyfriend, Scott for those not "in the know" in the Christana's gang. I have multiple gangs, and apparently can't commit to one gang, I've recently noticed. I'll have to come back to that... Anyway, he's a nice guy and the band did well, as well as performing at a smart volume. They appeared to lean toward songwriting that was serious almost to excess, which is nothing more than a mere judgment, but I think that they are expressing themselve's without pretense. The Other Office Party (apparently there is a real "office party") we called ourselves on stage, was able to just waltz up there, play some half-assed rock covers from every corner of 80's and 90's bizarro-rock, and have fun doing it. I like that place for some reason.
I'll cut and paste the official set list down below, for the vi permanent record.
------------------------------------------------------
The roughest one was Head On.
My favorite was probably a tie between Blackbird (nice applause for my searing vocals, or just having the guts to try it) and Brass in Pocket. Jen sang that groovey Pretenders song well, we were all fairly tight, and I pulled consistent drumming out of my ass. Good fun.
I just gave Goblin a pinch of kitty litter in a knotted sock for xmas. ho-dee, hohoho. Ho, ho, mutha fuckin' ho. Ho Ho McFuckin'Ho. Ho blow ho. Happy kids xmas moring brightest smile of the year ho. Merry temporary bighearts to those accidentally proving they can give a shit about humanity, finally working within their means to do so xmas. Happy excessive instrospection day. Happy laughs and hugs day. Merry (at least we watched the Chicago Bears on) xmas eve xmas. I had fun giving a few presents this year.
Harlan Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Or so it feels this evening...
what else?
I just ate my last almond m and m. What the hell do I do now?
My father and step mother gave me so much in gifts. Sorry to know this figure, but it totalled 5 times more than last year, at least . An unusual amount of money and the Kids in the Hall complete set. Alas, complete recovery from my recent financial offset. We watched the Bears game and "A Christmas Story" (filmed partly in Hammond, as Tricia onced indicated).
I now own every Kids in the Hall episode on DVD. Things must be okay.
Oh, and the tips I got from Craigslisters about sorting out my itunes issues led me to complete resolution! That was a big, time consuming deal, with all those files, currently at 4371 (no more duplicates!).
powerblessings to all!!
Tomorrow, xmas day proper: Work from Noon to 3. Unfortunate indeed.
Saturday Night's "gregJIMscott and sometimes Jen band" at Stadium West was a lot of fun. The band that graciously helped fill time that we couldn't was The Christina's bartender's boyfriend's band. "Inaudible". They're fronted by Aubrey's boyfriend, Scott for those not "in the know" in the Christana's gang. I have multiple gangs, and apparently can't commit to one gang, I've recently noticed. I'll have to come back to that... Anyway, he's a nice guy and the band did well, as well as performing at a smart volume. They appeared to lean toward songwriting that was serious almost to excess, which is nothing more than a mere judgment, but I think that they are expressing themselve's without pretense. The Other Office Party (apparently there is a real "office party") we called ourselves on stage, was able to just waltz up there, play some half-assed rock covers from every corner of 80's and 90's bizarro-rock, and have fun doing it. I like that place for some reason.
I'll cut and paste the official set list down below, for the vi permanent record.
------------------------------------------------------
Memo:
Office Party 12/23/06 Stadium West office
Driver 8
Head On
Please Please....
Blackbird
Red Dragon Tatoo (capo on 3rd fr.?)
6 or 7 songs for Scott L/ Inaudible
Barbara H 2vox
This Charming Man
Summer of '69 (egg, dynamic snare w/ brushes)
About A Girl
Everlong (lighter egg beat on 1st V.)
3 or 4 songs for Scott L/ Inaudible
Still Wasted 2vox
Love Fool 2vox
Brass in Pocket
Just Like Heavan 2vox
Sliver
Don't Stop Believin'
The roughest one was Head On.
My favorite was probably a tie between Blackbird (nice applause for my searing vocals, or just having the guts to try it) and Brass in Pocket. Jen sang that groovey Pretenders song well, we were all fairly tight, and I pulled consistent drumming out of my ass. Good fun.
I just gave Goblin a pinch of kitty litter in a knotted sock for xmas. ho-dee, hohoho. Ho, ho, mutha fuckin' ho. Ho Ho McFuckin'Ho. Ho blow ho. Happy kids xmas moring brightest smile of the year ho. Merry temporary bighearts to those accidentally proving they can give a shit about humanity, finally working within their means to do so xmas. Happy excessive instrospection day. Happy laughs and hugs day. Merry (at least we watched the Chicago Bears on) xmas eve xmas. I had fun giving a few presents this year.
Harlan Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Or so it feels this evening...
what else?
I just ate my last almond m and m. What the hell do I do now?
My father and step mother gave me so much in gifts. Sorry to know this figure, but it totalled 5 times more than last year, at least . An unusual amount of money and the Kids in the Hall complete set. Alas, complete recovery from my recent financial offset. We watched the Bears game and "A Christmas Story" (filmed partly in Hammond, as Tricia onced indicated).
I now own every Kids in the Hall episode on DVD. Things must be okay.
Oh, and the tips I got from Craigslisters about sorting out my itunes issues led me to complete resolution! That was a big, time consuming deal, with all those files, currently at 4371 (no more duplicates!).
powerblessings to all!!
Tomorrow, xmas day proper: Work from Noon to 3. Unfortunate indeed.
Friday, December 22, 2006
YO rsp raps
I recently mentioned the concept of words, that they are merely a sytem of SYMBOLS that point to a feeling or other sensation, often inadequate and ambiguous (but its the best we got). Well that's where I'm at in regards to my feelings about my day to day routine. Satisfying, but only in some kind of twisted selfish way. Consistent, leading to deadly amounts of complacency. I have almost no stress, yet nothing to show for such low levels of stress. Clearly, lonliness is at play to some degree here, but that can't be more than half of the whole deal. Perhaps some newer anxiety, which is a fantastically ambiguous word in itself. Hell, I don't know where I'm going with this, so I'll stop, for now. Oh, another example of "words can't express" might be my overall feeling about xmas. I could call it guilt (for feeling detached), but that's not quite it; my current feeling of indifference to this celebration of commercialism... and even what amounts to harmful levels of stress in some, and they just take it. While I do not feel stressed, I do feel a bizarre combination of guilt, disgust, and nostalgia. Nostalgia is like like lime juice, "necessary in tiny amounts".
Apparently the "time published" is quite inaccurate here in bloggerville, I recently noticed that when looking at the previous times, especially for the first one.
Verse:
"y'all really gone and done it now
fancy art on my glacier bay toilet wow
looks like play-doh out the can for months
little man standing on it, hey (harmony)---he constantly grunts"
hey, go ahead and put a melody to those lyrics, and email me the song. It should probably be rapped.
(4 hours later)
Just got back from Marie's riptide lounge. Didn't yet hit the publish button.
Before that was Bucktown pub.
Before that was Lotties.
Fairly nice out this evening.
It will be a long day tomorrow (today).
so g'night.
Apparently the "time published" is quite inaccurate here in bloggerville, I recently noticed that when looking at the previous times, especially for the first one.
Verse:
"y'all really gone and done it now
fancy art on my glacier bay toilet wow
looks like play-doh out the can for months
little man standing on it, hey (harmony)---he constantly grunts"
hey, go ahead and put a melody to those lyrics, and email me the song. It should probably be rapped.
(4 hours later)
Just got back from Marie's riptide lounge. Didn't yet hit the publish button.
Before that was Bucktown pub.
Before that was Lotties.
Fairly nice out this evening.
It will be a long day tomorrow (today).
so g'night.
three 4 three
rah.
Today began as depressing as a day can begin. Rainy, cold, and a trip to Chicago's Cabrini Green Public Housing Complex.
Okay, the kid ("DW") stayed home rather than come back to A**endale on October 29th. He turned 18 on Oct. 30th and then became his own legal guardian. It gets complicated. His full scale IQ is 50-ish. He can barely read, if at all. On top of that, his mother, who was his legal guardian until his birthday is so passive about recognizing what the implications are if he decides to stay home (NO therapeutic or vocational services, no structured or therapeutic setting to help him progress to a situation in which he might have some autonomy.
Anyway, I went there with two staff from the cottage. In the two bedroom apartment there lived DW, his mom, older sister, a few of her kids (ages 3-10-ish), some other kids, and kids of those kids. Probably nearly 10 in the two-bedroom apartment. Mom's face had been badly burned in a childhood house fire, and looked like a muppet wearing lipstick and a wig. Of course DW was clueless as to what might be in his best interest as far as utilizing resources avialable to him (now or never), but his mother had nothing to say, just as she'd always been. Excessively passive. So that's it. He'll just stay there with the family and culture that he knows, living day to day, until he winds up homeless, in jail, or dead.
I fixed my itunes issues today. It took about 20 or so hours all together to eliminate the duplicate files and "dead" tracks that didn't have a file of music that was valid to play from. I gots 4,342 songs, or 10 days worth of music to get happy to.
I rehearsed with Greg, his girlfriend Jen, and Greg's bassist Jim for our dive bar cover band set for this Saturday. the deal has been pegged as "office party". We'll be picking on an imaginary "Phyllis from Accounting" throughout the set. I had fun. Wish we had more preparation time to have figured out more and better songs. Driver 8 sounded pretty rad. Jen's voice has some Kim Deal qualities to it. Rad indeed.
After a few beers during rehearsal, and a few more after going out to Kuma's Corner on Belmont, I'm quite tipsy at this time.
I'm off tomorrow, and I'm very very happy about that. I will share more relevant and interesting things with the world on tomorrow's blog.
I have a lot of mail to open and books to read and music to listen to. None of that sounds appealing at this time.
xmas. ungh.
new years. ungh ungh.
Today began as depressing as a day can begin. Rainy, cold, and a trip to Chicago's Cabrini Green Public Housing Complex.
Okay, the kid ("DW") stayed home rather than come back to A**endale on October 29th. He turned 18 on Oct. 30th and then became his own legal guardian. It gets complicated. His full scale IQ is 50-ish. He can barely read, if at all. On top of that, his mother, who was his legal guardian until his birthday is so passive about recognizing what the implications are if he decides to stay home (NO therapeutic or vocational services, no structured or therapeutic setting to help him progress to a situation in which he might have some autonomy.
Anyway, I went there with two staff from the cottage. In the two bedroom apartment there lived DW, his mom, older sister, a few of her kids (ages 3-10-ish), some other kids, and kids of those kids. Probably nearly 10 in the two-bedroom apartment. Mom's face had been badly burned in a childhood house fire, and looked like a muppet wearing lipstick and a wig. Of course DW was clueless as to what might be in his best interest as far as utilizing resources avialable to him (now or never), but his mother had nothing to say, just as she'd always been. Excessively passive. So that's it. He'll just stay there with the family and culture that he knows, living day to day, until he winds up homeless, in jail, or dead.
I fixed my itunes issues today. It took about 20 or so hours all together to eliminate the duplicate files and "dead" tracks that didn't have a file of music that was valid to play from. I gots 4,342 songs, or 10 days worth of music to get happy to.
I rehearsed with Greg, his girlfriend Jen, and Greg's bassist Jim for our dive bar cover band set for this Saturday. the deal has been pegged as "office party". We'll be picking on an imaginary "Phyllis from Accounting" throughout the set. I had fun. Wish we had more preparation time to have figured out more and better songs. Driver 8 sounded pretty rad. Jen's voice has some Kim Deal qualities to it. Rad indeed.
After a few beers during rehearsal, and a few more after going out to Kuma's Corner on Belmont, I'm quite tipsy at this time.
I'm off tomorrow, and I'm very very happy about that. I will share more relevant and interesting things with the world on tomorrow's blog.
I have a lot of mail to open and books to read and music to listen to. None of that sounds appealing at this time.
xmas. ungh.
new years. ungh ungh.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Hermit the Frog
Or should it be Kermit the Blog. That MUST have been used already. But I'll take it as an original Scott thought.
Warning: This blog is indulgent, long (three full MSword pages) and nonlinear.
I didn't learn anything today. Oh, wait, yes I did (honest change of mind while typing!). Just as I was approaching the Tollroad exit south to go home in Gurnee, the traffic report for the Edens inbound alone was an hour twenty in (usually just twenty). So off to Borders it was, to listen to their decent selection of music at their future-tech listening stations (more like crappy headphone kiosk stuck in a skinny isle station) and read their expensive books and import magazines. I read up ALL of the various Nirvana recording session, detailed take by take. I left so optimistic that there are probably a few as-yet unreleased tracks worth listening to. We'll have to give a few years, when my generation demands the $250 "EVERY song and version" box set, as opposed to the ugly sporadically good box set now. I don't think anyone that read this really gives a shit about Nirvana, but I am certain that the stupid fucker was a true artist and great lyricist. I no longer look to the bands style, however, as idealic.
So anyway, yes, I learned the content of the post-in utero sessions and I also learned that the Heart Shaped Box solo was indeed chopped during mixing. I was also reminded of just how clueless of a personality Steve Albini is. Technically talented, but
NEXT!
Various economists' approach to deciphering New York's spirit.
http://www.freakonomics.com/blog/page/5/
Read the "comments".
Hermit the frog. I'll defend my non-hangin' out ways. I wouldn't really call myself a hermit. Where else would I be right now? In a bar? No, not quite... not on Wednesday. I'm BROKE right now. figuratively. With chase bank, the more "overdraft fees" you have, the higher they ALL become. Got 1? I think its around $30. I wouldn't know. Got 3 of 'em? Try $64 dollars each. The whole charge you more the less you have logic blows me away. I called them and explained what its like to live in the city on $32,000 spread out over twelve months, with monthly expenses totaling around $1500 (from rent to fuel to credit cards). The lady said she will "submit a formal request" to try and take two of the charges off. End rant.
Its cute how Karen and I both miss our NY friends significantly. Such beautifully strong and modern friendships they are. I want to meet John.
I was taught how to properly arrange Lovefool's vocals today. Because I am not a Swedish pale Diana Ross on ice skates, I will do only the singy parts, not the talky parts.
Gee, its quiet here.
Almond m and m's are the best. And we discover that courier is the official font of m and m's.
I can't wait to learn how to edit html. I have pictures. LOTS of pictures.
I listened to the Gnarl's Barkely LP at Borders. Their cover of Gone Daddy gone is, uh, there. Its okay. His voice has a neat texture. But I think that songs needs to be well enough alone.
One of the best rock records ever, that Violent Femmes self-titled LP.
Tomorrow at 11am I will be entering 1230 N Burling. Apartment 505 in the Cabrini Green Public Housing Complex. I bid a fond farewell to all those that have touched my life, in ways too dynamic to describe with words.
Isn't it fantastic to remember that life is so beautiful (at times) that these symbols for feeling and emotions (called "words") do not come close to actually describing to what is being perceived.
Like love. Please! They shouldn't even put that damn word in the dictionary.
And how about orgasm. What a silly pile of phoenetic hogwash used to describe such a swell rush of wicked bliss.
Speaking of orgasm. mm. I tell you. The male brain is both an angel and a devil. But the female brain has her own issues, clearly.
Like at Allendale. Yeah, the boys, they're rough sometimes. My first cottaeg, Bush Cottage (no relevance to the presidents) involved youths with an axis I "intermittant explosive disorder", which is pretty much like it sounds. Kid drops other kid on head, punches options, staff drop kid to gound, injuries are inevitable at times, and the possibility of the group of inner city kids essentially rioting is there. Anway, that's cake compared to the cross-campus common knowledge that working with the girls is the most exhausting job on the planet. Oh, what those abused girls have been though. And just as significant, oh what they do when acting out is just wicked. Its the grudges that they hold that take the cake. A physical restraint with a boy that results in circumstantial injuries to the boy occurs, he's mad during the restraint, crys for an hour afterwards, processes the incident, and boom, the next day, PROGRESS. (unless they're clinically retarded, then the progress is optional). But the GIRLS, you give "Latoya" a "programmatic rule violation" that she perceives is unfair, there are fair odds that she's walk up on you blind sided with scissors in hand, possibly at night. These are fictional extreme examples in order to prove an isolated point this evening/ morning, but well, maybe I'm getting at a tried and true sense of well being; "it could be a lot worse". Yes, I've just re-justified my sense of lonliness after not having gone out for three evenings in a row.
I love my friends.
I'll stop there.
Nope. I can't stop. And I'm not even stoned. I've recognized an incredibly novel point of view emerging, maybe the missing link of my personality I've been seeking for the six years. NORMALACY. Yup. I'm relatively normal. Let me stress relatively. Relative to the rest of my robotic family and the unipolar eccentrics I look up to. Wow. Just having put that out there makes me feel free. Free to run down the street in my bare feet and revel in my self-indulgent obsession with self improvement, shouting out from my roof top, "I am just a dude"! "I like football and Nirvana"! And analogue synthesizers and androgynous decor! And psychology and Astronomy! Nice asses and women's rights! Progressive politics and traditional models of families (when they communicate). Okay, that's where I'll cut and run.
-rsp
Warning: This blog is indulgent, long (three full MSword pages) and nonlinear.
I didn't learn anything today. Oh, wait, yes I did (honest change of mind while typing!). Just as I was approaching the Tollroad exit south to go home in Gurnee, the traffic report for the Edens inbound alone was an hour twenty in (usually just twenty). So off to Borders it was, to listen to their decent selection of music at their future-tech listening stations (more like crappy headphone kiosk stuck in a skinny isle station) and read their expensive books and import magazines. I read up ALL of the various Nirvana recording session, detailed take by take. I left so optimistic that there are probably a few as-yet unreleased tracks worth listening to. We'll have to give a few years, when my generation demands the $250 "EVERY song and version" box set, as opposed to the ugly sporadically good box set now. I don't think anyone that read this really gives a shit about Nirvana, but I am certain that the stupid fucker was a true artist and great lyricist. I no longer look to the bands style, however, as idealic.
So anyway, yes, I learned the content of the post-in utero sessions and I also learned that the Heart Shaped Box solo was indeed chopped during mixing. I was also reminded of just how clueless of a personality Steve Albini is. Technically talented, but
NEXT!
Various economists' approach to deciphering New York's spirit.
http://www.freakonomics.com/blog/page/5/
Read the "comments".
Hermit the frog. I'll defend my non-hangin' out ways. I wouldn't really call myself a hermit. Where else would I be right now? In a bar? No, not quite... not on Wednesday. I'm BROKE right now. figuratively. With chase bank, the more "overdraft fees" you have, the higher they ALL become. Got 1? I think its around $30. I wouldn't know. Got 3 of 'em? Try $64 dollars each. The whole charge you more the less you have logic blows me away. I called them and explained what its like to live in the city on $32,000 spread out over twelve months, with monthly expenses totaling around $1500 (from rent to fuel to credit cards). The lady said she will "submit a formal request" to try and take two of the charges off. End rant.
Its cute how Karen and I both miss our NY friends significantly. Such beautifully strong and modern friendships they are. I want to meet John.
I was taught how to properly arrange Lovefool's vocals today. Because I am not a Swedish pale Diana Ross on ice skates, I will do only the singy parts, not the talky parts.
Gee, its quiet here.
Almond m and m's are the best. And we discover that courier is the official font of m and m's.
I can't wait to learn how to edit html. I have pictures. LOTS of pictures.
I listened to the Gnarl's Barkely LP at Borders. Their cover of Gone Daddy gone is, uh, there. Its okay. His voice has a neat texture. But I think that songs needs to be well enough alone.
One of the best rock records ever, that Violent Femmes self-titled LP.
Tomorrow at 11am I will be entering 1230 N Burling. Apartment 505 in the Cabrini Green Public Housing Complex. I bid a fond farewell to all those that have touched my life, in ways too dynamic to describe with words.
Isn't it fantastic to remember that life is so beautiful (at times) that these symbols for feeling and emotions (called "words") do not come close to actually describing to what is being perceived.
Like love. Please! They shouldn't even put that damn word in the dictionary.
And how about orgasm. What a silly pile of phoenetic hogwash used to describe such a swell rush of wicked bliss.
Speaking of orgasm. mm. I tell you. The male brain is both an angel and a devil. But the female brain has her own issues, clearly.
Like at Allendale. Yeah, the boys, they're rough sometimes. My first cottaeg, Bush Cottage (no relevance to the presidents) involved youths with an axis I "intermittant explosive disorder", which is pretty much like it sounds. Kid drops other kid on head, punches options, staff drop kid to gound, injuries are inevitable at times, and the possibility of the group of inner city kids essentially rioting is there. Anway, that's cake compared to the cross-campus common knowledge that working with the girls is the most exhausting job on the planet. Oh, what those abused girls have been though. And just as significant, oh what they do when acting out is just wicked. Its the grudges that they hold that take the cake. A physical restraint with a boy that results in circumstantial injuries to the boy occurs, he's mad during the restraint, crys for an hour afterwards, processes the incident, and boom, the next day, PROGRESS. (unless they're clinically retarded, then the progress is optional). But the GIRLS, you give "Latoya" a "programmatic rule violation" that she perceives is unfair, there are fair odds that she's walk up on you blind sided with scissors in hand, possibly at night. These are fictional extreme examples in order to prove an isolated point this evening/ morning, but well, maybe I'm getting at a tried and true sense of well being; "it could be a lot worse". Yes, I've just re-justified my sense of lonliness after not having gone out for three evenings in a row.
I love my friends.
I'll stop there.
Nope. I can't stop. And I'm not even stoned. I've recognized an incredibly novel point of view emerging, maybe the missing link of my personality I've been seeking for the six years. NORMALACY. Yup. I'm relatively normal. Let me stress relatively. Relative to the rest of my robotic family and the unipolar eccentrics I look up to. Wow. Just having put that out there makes me feel free. Free to run down the street in my bare feet and revel in my self-indulgent obsession with self improvement, shouting out from my roof top, "I am just a dude"! "I like football and Nirvana"! And analogue synthesizers and androgynous decor! And psychology and Astronomy! Nice asses and women's rights! Progressive politics and traditional models of families (when they communicate). Okay, that's where I'll cut and run.
-rsp
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Zompf is born on Wednesday, December 20th 2006 at 3:27am
Clearly, this bloggy deal needed to happen. I now get to type out my zillions of random thoughts for my own selfish delight, as well as for the amusement of others. I just can't wait to read what comes out.
Zompf. phonetically challenging, yes. Its more fun when said in double units. zompf zompf. which I believe the url has been set at.
So what did I learn today? I started reading a book that pre-dates "Radical Honesty" by a decade or two called "Vital Lies and Simple Truths, the psychology of self-deception". By Daniel Goleman. He went to Harvard in the 60's, and wrote the book in '85. Bears Superbowl year. Reagan. Live Aid. Cold War. Pinks and Yellows.
Okay, lets get back on track. The first 19 pages were lame. Then on page 20, paraphrased of course, it goes...
"Perception is selection. Filtering out information (the job of our usually trusty cerebral cortex) is, in the main, for the good. But the capacity for the brain to do so makes it vulnerable to skewing what is admitted to awareness versus what gets sent to the recycle bin.
My paraphrase is far superior to his original text, I might add.
Dude goes on..."The ways in which our attention is biased has profound affects". "A person's given experience is what she agrees to attend to".
So this book is going to tell me what society is perceiving, as well as what exists in society's blind spot.
Its interesting, damn it.
I'll try to avoid quoting psychology texts as much as I can for both my sake and yours.
What else today? I did NOT leave the house. It was a "no-work" Tuesday. What did I accomplish in these 18 waking hours at home? I rehearsed Love Fool by the Cardigans, This Charming Man by the Smiths, and Blackbird a few times. Just the vocals. I rode my elliptical for about 15 minutes. Probably less. Made Craigslist posts such as indicating my desire to bargain for help with my itunes issues. http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/sys/251449613.html.
I made egg salad. I talked to a few friends on the phone, including Karen for the first time in weeks. Picked on my cat. That's about it. Should have went out with Justin. YEAH. Okay, off to bed now. Hooray for beds.
Zompf. phonetically challenging, yes. Its more fun when said in double units. zompf zompf. which I believe the url has been set at.
So what did I learn today? I started reading a book that pre-dates "Radical Honesty" by a decade or two called "Vital Lies and Simple Truths, the psychology of self-deception". By Daniel Goleman. He went to Harvard in the 60's, and wrote the book in '85. Bears Superbowl year. Reagan. Live Aid. Cold War. Pinks and Yellows.
Okay, lets get back on track. The first 19 pages were lame. Then on page 20, paraphrased of course, it goes...
"Perception is selection. Filtering out information (the job of our usually trusty cerebral cortex) is, in the main, for the good. But the capacity for the brain to do so makes it vulnerable to skewing what is admitted to awareness versus what gets sent to the recycle bin.
My paraphrase is far superior to his original text, I might add.
Dude goes on..."The ways in which our attention is biased has profound affects". "A person's given experience is what she agrees to attend to".
So this book is going to tell me what society is perceiving, as well as what exists in society's blind spot.
Its interesting, damn it.
I'll try to avoid quoting psychology texts as much as I can for both my sake and yours.
What else today? I did NOT leave the house. It was a "no-work" Tuesday. What did I accomplish in these 18 waking hours at home? I rehearsed Love Fool by the Cardigans, This Charming Man by the Smiths, and Blackbird a few times. Just the vocals. I rode my elliptical for about 15 minutes. Probably less. Made Craigslist posts such as indicating my desire to bargain for help with my itunes issues. http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/sys/251449613.html.
I made egg salad. I talked to a few friends on the phone, including Karen for the first time in weeks. Picked on my cat. That's about it. Should have went out with Justin. YEAH. Okay, off to bed now. Hooray for beds.
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